I've been letting my daughter go to her regular NA/AA meetings without me but with other people, like her sponsor and with friends for about a week now. She told me last night that she smoked a cigarette.
My first reaction, and the words that came out of my mouth were, "EWWWW! Why did you do that?"
To which she replied, "I don't know."
"Are you going to do it again?"
"I won't if you don't want me to."
Well DUH!!
I said, "Of course I don't want you to. But it's your body and if you choose to smoke, then that is up to you. But you will not be allowed to smoke in the house or the car and I will not give you money for cigarettes nor will I buy them for you."
To which she replied, "Ok."
End of conversation.
Actually, I've had an on-going conversation in my head about this pretty much since I woke up, but that is the last I will say about this to my daughter.
Is this the right way to handle it? I'm not sure. In the overall scheme of things though, I've decided that cigarettes are not a battle I want to fight today.
Your reaction is completely normal - but for what it's worth, I think you're being wise not to make a big deal out of this. Hopefully she'll figure out why it's a bad idea on her own. My older brother and my husband and several of my friends used to smoke - all of them quit.
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